This is a touching but inspirational post for all those who are feeling a bit lonely right now. I know how you feel. Winter has a tendency to do that. My mother was having a very hard time listening to audio tapes of Jane Austen’s great novels. She remarked upon the thrust of most of the stories. It all seemed to revolve around class, putting on airs and how much money and landed property potential suitors had for the ladies in waiting.
I asked my mother whether she didn’t think that Jane Austen’s endearing tales of love and loss didn’t sound anything like the daily soapies she was so fond of watching once upon a time. Unfortunately, she missed the point completely. She also missed the emphatic point of Jane Austen’s use of the metaphor in one my favorite stories; Emma. Emma used the weather as a metaphor for our daily moods to great effect.
So, if the clouds were dark, gray and moody, you had a tendency to feel the same way too. But if spring mornings were crisp and promising, you had a surge of optimism as your day was breaking. The sun, high in the sky by noon, sometimes brought the best out of us in the most exhilarating ways possible. Even though you were raising a little sweat, you were determined to do a little more with your day. I’m touching a sensitive place right now by offering up this post to those of you who’ve had their hearts broken at least once in their lives without fully recovering from the loss.
That loss I speak of has to do with the man of our dreams walking right out of our lives. There’s also been those men who have grossly abused their women, physically and emotionally, leaving scars, physically and emotionally. I lost a lover once, but I have to confess that I was living in a dream world at the time. I really fancied this man. He was gorgeous and he seemed to have a decent heart. I’m quite good-looking in my own way, but he never seemed to be attracted to me.
He wasn’t emotionally attached to me either. In fact, most of the time he seemed to be in his own dream world, hatching his own plans and thinking of faraway places which, incidentally, he got to see something of during his short stay with us. I say his stay was short because he died prematurely. A tragic fate befell him a good couple of years ago and his health had deteriorated. He ended up having a pretty bad stroke and died several months later.
Now that’s enough of loss. Let’s talk about the brighter things in life. But have peace with the fact that reality still bites. There’s just no getting away from it. In my own personal life I spent too much time dwelling on the past, thinking about losses and all the unfortunate things that happened to me. Right about now I’m busy with a personal exercise which is quite challenging at times. I’m training all my thoughts on this day and what I’d like to see happening for myself in the future.
The past is gone, but never forgotten. There’s just nothing you can do to bring it back and try and fix what went wrong then. What you can do is look forward to a new life. Focus on plans and dreams. Don’t spend too much time chasing after men who won’t be bringing you any joy or fulfillment anyway. A lady told me a few weeks ago to stop searching for love. Love will come to you when it’s good and ready. Well, I do hope that’s true because to be honest with you, I’ve not experienced this before.
We’ll have to wait and see, wont we. I just finished talking about new resolutions. I spent a bit of time chatting to you about doing things that are manageable. It makes no sense in trying to mount emotional mountains that you’ll never be able to climb anyway. Go for greener pastures. Go for little hillocks that won’t put you out of breath. Make new friends. Focus on friendship first before even beginning to entertain thoughts of ardent, mad, passionate love.
Now, as I round off this post, just remember that these are just the thoughts of one poor little girl who’s also had her ups and downs in life. She’s learnt that life does have its silver linings. Just remember that she’s not a psychologist. So, if there are any girls out there that feel that their lives are emotional train wrecks, don’t delay seeking out professional help. Don’t put it off. You’ll be glad after a while.